A Word from Pastor Lisa: Parenting in a Pandemic
Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord.
—Psalm 31:24 (NRSV)
On an ideal pandemic day, my work scene happens from the couch with my laptop on a pillow, our puppy curled against my hip, and my arm snuggling our 4-year-old as Dinosaur Train blares in the background. Those are the moments that trick me into believing we may survive two-parents-working-full-time-without-childcare during this pandemic. The other days are much more real. That same 4-year-old has an endless series of meltdowns because she doesn’t want to brush her teeth, eat a snack, go down for a nap, or really just misses all of her friends from daycare. She interrupts my ZOOM meeting to show off her artwork, which is a picture of the entire family in our underwear. That puppy is chewing on my sunglasses or having a barking contest with the older dog when I’m trying to lead prayer time on Facebook live. My husband and I are up too late or too early trying to get work done. We’re exhausted and get short with each other. We hit the wall, and the next day feels like a repeat.
No matter your circumstances, there is no easy way to navigate pandemic life. We are grateful to both have jobs, especially when so many others have lost work or had income dramatically reduced. We’re blessed with a home we love. We eat three meals a day together when so many others are struggling to make ends meet. We have a busy household when other people are desperately lonely for human contact. Yet 130 days into this pandemic, we are worn out. This is still very hard.
Struggling parents, grandparents, and anyone else caring for children in this unprecedented time: I see you. I hear you. I’m praying for you. I’m walking with you. I’m lifting you up as you make impossible decisions about in-person or online school for the fall. I’m remembering you as you figure out childcare, worry about too much screen time, teach your children to wear masks, and explain to them why they still can’t see their friends. I’m thinking of you as you attempt to balance your own work or home life with the constant demands of young people. I’m holding you in the light when you’re convinced the only reason Jesus could take children in his arms and bless them is because they weren’t his own insolent ones. I’m remembering you when all of your usual outlets like the swimming pool, activities, vacations, or visits with extended family can’t happen right now. I’m praying for rest and your own soul-care when there doesn’t seem to be any end in sight.
I also want us to be the church for you when you are Zoomed-out, tired of the livestream, unsure about connecting in person, and would rather go to the park on Sunday morning. I understand the need to “check out” in a crisis, but I hope you know we’re still here for you. One of my biggest fears is that we will lose touch with our families of children and youth and that something else will replace the Sunday morning worship rhythm or church activities throughout the week. We want to care for you because we need each other now more than ever.
The other morning I woke up to a rainy sky, thankful on behalf of my garden but exhausted by the possibility of being together inside all day. I started humming a Taize song based on Psalm 31: Wait for the Lord, whose day is near. Wait for the Lord, keep watch, take heart. Truthfully, I don’t know what it means to wait for the Lord in a time like this when I’m at my wit’s end as a parent and struggling to keep up as a pastor. Perhaps the best we can do is to be strong, let our hearts take courage, and do this hard thing together. My prayer is when our child looks back at this time, she not only remembers the joy of getting a puppy, but also senses the authenticity of our love for God and each other, even in the difficult times.