A Word from Pastor Lisa: Tired of Being Nice
First, I must confess that over the last few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro's great stumbling block in the stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen's Council-er or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate who is more devoted to "order" than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says "I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I can't agree with your methods of direct action;" who paternalistically feels he can set the timetable for another man's freedom; who lives by the myth of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait until a "more convenient season."
Shallow understanding from people of goodwill is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection.
– Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., “Letter from a Birmingham Jail,” April 16, 1963
Born and bred a Midwesterner, I’ve been conditioned to be nice. Even if I object to something or someone, the greatest offense I could commit would be rudeness.
Well, I’m tired of being nice while my siblings of color live in fear of being gunned down in hate attacks at the supermarket or church.
I’m tired of being nice when I will never have “the talk” with my white daughter about her interactions with law enforcement the same way my BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, People of Color) friends do with their beloved children.
I’m tired of being nice when church folks tell me they have Black friends, but they object to our church having a Black Lives Matter sign. (We no longer have the signs because others in Bloomington have torn down our signs twice.) I’m weary of white Christians who are uncomfortable with prayers that confess our racism.
I’m tired of being nice when the Black population in Bloomington is less than 4%, and of those people, less than 1% own their own homes.
I’m tired of being nice to myself when I’d prefer to read a book on racial equity than take action steps that might force me to change or take risks.
The good news is that Scripture doesn’t call it us to be nice; it requires us to be just, kind, and humble. The prophet Micah proclaims: “God has told you, O mortal, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with God?” (6:8)
The word here used for “kindness” is “hesed,” which is completely different from Midwestern niceness. Hesed is God’s fierce covenant loyalty for God’s people, even when they rebel. Hesed isn’t just an emotion or feeling, but it involves action on behalf of someone who’s in need. When we experience God’s hesed for us, we’re inspired to have merciful and compassionate behavior towards others as well.
Our church is 95% white. That means we can no longer be the people of “lukewarm acceptance” or “shallow understanding with goodwill” that King described. Our complacency makes us complicit in racialized violence. Instead, we must be people of hesed who hold each other accountable for our role in upholding and benefiting from injustice and oppression. We have to be followers of Jesus who decry gun culture and housing discrimination. Those of us in majority culture must repent, which entails a complete turnaround. That includes listening before speaking, truth-telling about our past and present, and empowering BIPOC voices instead of seeking power ourselves. For most of us, this will be difficult and scary because it means a loss of control. But it’s the only way I know for us to build God’s beloved community together.
I have a lot of work to do myself before I can be a better leader and ally to my siblings who are BIPOC. For me, that starts with exchanging Midwestern niceness for Biblical hesed, steadfast loyalty and action for those who are oppressed.